By Shannon Kobylarczyk, Milwaukee, WI
Understanding Resilience
Resilience is a word we hear a lot, but its true meaning becomes clear only when life tests us in ways we never expect. For me, resilience has been about facing challenges head-on, staying focused on my goals, and finding strength in the people and experiences around me. It is not about never struggling or never feeling fear. Resilience is about continuing to move forward even when everything feels uncertain.
Lessons From My Childhood
I grew up in Green Bay, Wisconsin, in a busy household with four siblings. Three of them were adopted, and I was the fourth child. Being part of a large and diverse family taught me lessons about patience, empathy, and compromise from a young age. My parents worked hard to provide a supportive environment. My father was a medical sales representative, and my mother was a stay-at-home mom before later working as the secretary at my elementary school.
“They both taught me the importance of showing up for people and never giving up,” I often reflect. These early lessons became the foundation for resilience in my adult life.
The Challenge of Balancing Family and Career
After finishing school, I began a career in accounting. I enjoyed the work, and it gave me a solid foundation for my future. I spent twelve years in the field before deciding to pursue a long-held dream of attending law school. I enrolled in a part-time program at Marquette University while working full-time and raising two small children.
Even before classes began, life tested my resolve. On the very first day of law school, my oldest son was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I was overwhelmed and unsure how I could possibly handle school, work, and family responsibilities all at once. “It was one of the hardest days of my life,” I remember. “I didn’t know how I could continue, but I decided to take it one step at a time.”
With the support of my husband and my son’s care team, I attended my first class. It was not easy. I cried in my car before going in. I was exhausted, scared, and uncertain. But that day taught me a vital lesson: resilience often begins with simply showing up.
Finding Strength Through Support
One of the most important parts of building resilience is surrounding yourself with people who support and believe in you. My husband has been my rock through every challenge. My family and friends have celebrated my victories and helped me navigate setbacks. I learned that asking for help is not a weakness. It is a sign of strength.
“Support from others allowed me to keep moving forward when I felt like giving up,” I often say. During law school, I gave birth to my youngest son while still balancing full-time work and studies. There were moments when exhaustion threatened to overwhelm me, but having a strong support system made all the difference.
Using Adversity to Strengthen Purpose
Adversity can feel unfair, heavy, and discouraging. But it also has a way of clarifying what truly matters. Facing life’s toughest challenges taught me to focus on purpose rather than perfection. I realized that I wanted to create a career that allowed me to make a difference and to lead by example for my children.
After graduating from law school, I transitioned into corporate law and eventually became Associate General Counsel, overseeing securities, corporate governance, ethics, compliance, and managing the company’s trademark portfolio. My background in accounting helped me succeed in law, and my experiences navigating adversity shaped how I approach leadership. “Going through difficult times taught me empathy, patience, and perspective,” I explain. “It shaped how I guide my team and make decisions.”
Resilience in Everyday Life
Resilience is not just about surviving major challenges. It is about finding strength in everyday moments. For me, this includes spending time with my family, traveling, baking cupcakes, working out, and cheering on the Green Bay Packers. These activities may seem simple, but they recharge me, provide joy, and remind me why I persevere.
I also try to share these lessons with my children. My oldest son recently graduated from college with a finance degree, and my youngest is starting his own journey in sports law. They have seen firsthand the importance of persistence, adaptability, and embracing challenges as opportunities to grow.
Lessons I’ve Learned
Through all the highs and lows, there are a few key lessons I have learned about resilience:
- Show up even when it is hard. Taking the first step is often the hardest part of any challenge.
- Seek support. Surround yourself with people who encourage and uplift you.
- Focus on purpose, not perfection. Goals are important, but how you approach them matters even more.
- Find joy in small moments. Balance comes from appreciating the everyday experiences that bring you happiness.
These lessons have shaped not only my career but my life as a whole. They have taught me that setbacks do not define us. Instead, they can strengthen our resolve and give us clarity about what matters most.
Moving Forward With Strength
Life will always present challenges. There will be unexpected twists, obstacles, and moments that test your limits. But resilience is something we can cultivate. It grows each time we face a difficulty and choose to keep moving forward.
“My hope is that people understand that resilience is not just about surviving,” I say. “It is about learning from hardships, finding purpose, and using those experiences to lead a more meaningful life.”
By embracing challenges and leaning into support, we can transform adversity into strength. Life’s toughest moments can be some of the most powerful teachers, guiding us toward fulfillment, growth, and purpose.